Why am I Jealous?

Generally, I don't really think of myself as the jealous type. At least, I don't think I am and I don't want to be a jealous person. But I'm starting to think maybe I am more jealous than I realize.

I'm finishing up the last week of my summer job as a logger. The time has flown by. I don't have any concrete jobs lined up for when I leave here but I feel like I've made some good contacts. I'm hoping and praying (and asking you to do so as well) that these contacts will lead to another job in the near future. A number of my co-workers have been going on interviews in abundance. I have yet to land ONE interview. Here's where the fight against jealousy enters, as well as the fight against entitlement and feeling sorry for myself. The truth of the matter is, with the exception of one of those jobs they've interviewed for, I don't want any of those positions. So why am I jealous? One of those co-workers was hired for a job today and starts on Thursday. She's super excited. I can honestly say I'm happy for her but if it were a position I wanted, I don't think I'd be happy for her. Another co-worker has an interview tomorrow for a position that's perfect for her. It's completely not right for me. But it makes me feel frustrated that I haven't had one interview, anywhere, for a perfect or un-perfect position. I lie to myself, trying to convince myself that a perfect position will come along for me and they won't be competition because they will have been hired elsewhere. I'd really like to believe that but I know I'm just lying. This turns into me losing confidence in myself and doubting my abilities. Jealousy doesn't stop at jealousy, it grows and easily turns into hate and anger. It needs to stop.


So what is jealousy? Why do I feel it? What does the Bible say about it? And how can I be geniunely happy for someone else, even if they get a job that I wanted?

Jealousy is defined as "resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself." Yeah, that really sums up how I feel! Interestingly, there really are no antonyms for jealousy. But you can think of it as "NOT having resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself." That would mean that you are genuinely happy for them.

Why do I feel it? I feel jealous because I want what they have. Maybe not exactly what they have but something close to what they have.

The book of James in chapter 3 has point on advice about jealousy and envy.
14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
15 Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.
16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

Yikes! Jealousy is "of the devil" and leads to "every evil practice." That should be enough right there to make me get over my jealousy. But I still feel the "selfish ambition" of what about me? What is the "wisdom that comes from heaven"? This is something I need to seek God to show me. By doing this, it takes the focus off me and the accomplishments of others. If I can cling to that, then my selfish ambition will fade and I can genuinely ("impartial and sincere") be happy for others.