Thoughts on the non-rapture

Many jokes have been made about Harold Camping, his followers, and his prediction for the rapture to occur on May 21, 2011.  I've made a few jokes and discussed the injustice and possible ramifications of this man's actions.  But in all sincerity, I feel sad for him and those following his beliefs.  This man staked everything on his belief that the rapture would occur.  Millions of dollars and hours were invested in advertising.  Here in New York alone there have been proselytizers working around the clock for months and months, passing out pamphlets.  Not to mention the countless billboards and subway ads.  People actually sold their houses and quit their jobs.  One man, a retired transportation employee, used his life savings to buy advertising space.  His response at 6pm when nothing happened, "I do not understand why ...," as his speech broke off and he looked at his watch.  "I do not understand why nothing has happened."1  What disappointment and confusion he must feel.  He has put his hope in this one moment, this one event for so long.  I feel sad for him and I wonder if he will walk away from God.  Did God let him down?  No, Harold Camping set this guy up for a major letdown. 

And what about Harold Camping?  He said he would spend the day at home watching the events of the rapture unfold on television until it was his turn for the rapture.  If this man really believed this was going to happen, then everything he believes and hopes in has just been taken away from him.  He has made a prediction of end times before.  But last time, he admitted that there was a chance he might be wrong if he made a mathematical error.  And after no rapture occurred in 1994, he conceded that he indeed had made an error in calculation.  This time, he was adamant that there is no way he could be wrong.  He shut down his office, his broadcasting network and his website.  I truly wonder what went through his mind last night when there was no giant earthquake in New Zealand as he was expecting.  I imagine him sitting in his living room watching television, waiting for breaking news, and nothing happens.  Instead, his television turns to the 11 o'clock news as happens every night (11pm in California is 6pm next day in New Zealand).  What did he say to his wife?  Did he even go to bed?  And as nothing monumental unfolded throughout Saturday, how was he feeling? 

I think Harold Camping and many of those following in his footsteps believe that they were really doing what is right, despite the obvious verses in Scripture that direct followers of Christ differently.  I fear for those who have no house, no money, and possibly now, no belief system because of their decision to buy into Harold Camping.  I pray that they will now hear the truth and know it.  But I think many will find a different path to follow that is equally disastrous. 

And as for myself, I looked out the window at 6:00 to see what people were doing because I've seen some of these followers around here before.  Life was continuing as normal as though no one was aware of anything that was supposed to be happening.  When I looked at the sky, I saw a faint rainbow.  God's promise not to destroy man by flood ever again.  But it also reminded me that though today was not Judgment Day, it will happen someday and no man knows that day or hour.

Debtor

I am in the unfortunate but necessary process of declaring bankruptcy. As I fill out forms and go through all the steps involved, I am known as "the debtor". It's a term that stings a little. But it also reminds me that I am first a debtor to Christ. I've never really thought extensively about what it means to be a debtor to Christ. Now, I'm really thinking about it because I keep being reminded that I am a debtor to Chase and American Express and Bank of America and so on. I owe these companies money that they "loaned" to me. Does that mean I owe Christ something?

(This post was written January 2011 but for some reason I didn't post it)

A Valentine's Date...Court Date, that is

Today I joined the ranks of Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, and Donald Trump.  No, I did not go into politics, create a cartoon empire, or become a real estate mega mogul.  I have been declared bankrupt as were these individuals at at least one point in their lives.  It hurts, it's frustrating, it's not at all what I wanted, and definitely not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.  In fact, I never thought I would be faced with this.  However, after 2 years without a steady income and using the bulk of my savings to survive, I had no other choice.  Even if I were to land a job, unless I made 6 figures, bankruptcy is unavoidable at this point.

It has been a long journey to get to this point.  2009 was spent living off of my savings, unemployment, and the little bit of money I brought in from tutoring and temp work...and searching for gainful employment.  2010 was spent in a debt settlement program trying to negotiate with my creditors to allow me to pay off my debts at a lower rate--with little success.  I worked a few temporary jobs in my field but they only allowed me to make ends meet.  I tutored, taste-tested, transcribed from home, and continued to collect unemployment...and searched for gainful employment.  At the end of 2010, I started seriously considering bankruptcy, with shame and embarrassment.  I prayed that if there was any way to avoid bankruptcy that God would show me.  I set deadlines for God to reveal another plan but nothing materialized.  So ahead I went with the process.  I also started to feel less shame.  I don't think I've done anything wrong, there's really nothing I could have done differently, I didn't incur debt by living frivolously or irresponsibly.  Much of my debt was incurred in college for groceries, books, student fees, etc.  In November, I fired my lawyer and hired a new one who is much more familiar with the laws than my previous lawyer was.  I turned in all my paperwork (literally a 1 1/2 inch thick stack of papers) in December.  I signed and filed my bankruptcy papers in January and paid my lawyer and court fees.  And today was my bankruptcy hearing.  My prayer was that it would go smoothly.  The hearing took all of 5 minutes and the trustee asked about 5 questions!  It couldn't have gone more smoothly (or quickly)!  So now I keep thinking to myself, "What now?"

I'm bankrupt...bankrupt.  I still feel like there's a stigma but I need to get over it.  The men I mentioned before all filed bankruptcy (Donald Trump multiple times) and I don't think anyone would consider them failures.  Walt Disney and Abraham Lincoln have been mini-heroes of mine.  What's more, they filed bankruptcy and then became successful, hugely successful.  Perhaps it was the burden of their debt that held them back until they were released from that burden to be able to focus on something greater.  I must admit, I do feel a sense of relief now.  I don't have the constant phone calls from creditors, I don't have to worry about how I'm going to pay for everything, I don't have to decide between buying groceries or paying Visa back for the books I bought in college.  My prayer now is that God would lead me through open doors, that I would find opportunities.  I feel like I've had so many doors slam in my face and I'm really tired.  So I just really only want to pursue those things that will be productive.  I have no idea what that is!  But I'm really waiting and looking to the Lord for His direction with great anticipation.  Please, pray with me.

Matthew Henry said, "Men despise that which is broken, but God will not."  I have felt broken many times along this journey and I'm sure I will feel it again.  It's important to remind myself that what is often important to man (wealth, material items, prestige) is not so important to God.  Likewise, what is seen by man as shameful (having no money, living in simplicity) is often God showing us what is truly important in life.  ^"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world." (I John 2:16)  Not that I struggle with desiring the things of this world, though I'm human and I think that desire is inherent, I think God is teaching me(testing me?), perhaps even saving me from that trap.  "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2)  Proverbs 31 reminds me that I am actually far more valuable than even rubies!  My hope is that I will be as wildly successful as Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, or Donald Trump and even more successful  in light of eternity and the Kingdom of God.