Waiting for the Storm to Pass

I really need your prayers at this time. I feel so totally out of control at this time (which I am). I know in my heart that God is in control and will work all things out for good. But my brain is not so certain. I've found out that not only are they NOT going to hire anyone to take Jenny's position as HIstory International (HIN) producer, but they are releasing most freelancers as of January 1st. This is so heart breaking for me to know that many of my friends are losing their job before their time is up. It's also upsetting to me because I feel deceived in a way. Last week, I was asked to take over the HIN network as the sole producer. I'm now developing and implementing the monthly production schedule, and responsible for all shows that go to air for that network. I felt like this was being done to prepare me for that position permanently. And deep inside I'm still hoping that but everyone at work tells me I'm being unrealistic to hope for such a thing. So, knowing that my time is up at A&E on december 16 breaks my heart. I feel like a child screaming "but I don't want to leave!". I've been applying elsewhere but I just feel hopeless about the situation. To add to all this, my lease is up on January 5th and I don't know if I can renew it or even what I will be able to afford. You may remember that I got into that affordable housing program last year, even when it seemed unlikely. I know God can work out what seems impossible. I'm just waiting for that to happen again. And to my falable human mind it seems impossible. I'm really trying to stay optimistic and wait on the Lord but to be honest, it's hard to feel that way constantly. Eventually fear and doubt creep up on me and weigh me down and I lose all composure. Please keep me in prayer. I don't know what's going to happen. Thankfully, God does.

The ball starts rolling

On Friday I finally found out who the new Managing Producer is. Surprisingly, it's not Andy as most everyone expected. A lady named Jenny got the position. She is the primary format producer for History International. I know Andy is very disappointed and all of us are very surprised. But I'm sure Jenny will do a good job as Managing Producer. So, what does this mean for me??? I'm not completely sure. However, since Jenny is really the only producer for the entire H.I. Network, someone will need to take over that network soon. I don't know exactly how they will restructure the department but I know they have to. If they hire a permanent employee (which is highly likely) I feel that I have a pretty good shot. Jenny seems to like me on a personal level more than the other freelance producer I'd be up against. A&E seems to take its time in making decisions so it all comes down to WHEN they decide to restructure and not IF.
I will keep you all updated when and how things progress.